


And sometimes it burns and other times does not

by ShadowSelene (Shadowdianne)



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-20
Updated: 2016-12-20
Packaged: 2018-09-10 17:42:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,727
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8926345
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shadowdianne/pseuds/ShadowSelene
Summary: SQ fic prompt ---- set after S5 (Robin's death), Regina finds out about the potion Snow took to forget her true love (Charming - I honestly can't remember which episode this was in!). She goes to Gold to get the potion for herself, but instead of forgetting Robin she forgets Emma ----Asked by reginastruemistress via tumblr





	

Regina stared at the grave in front of her, her hands clasped at her back as the rain drizzled down the shoulders of her raincoat, muddling the terrain below her boot-covered feet. The grave was well kempt and on the tombstone the letters that conformed Robin’s name were still sharp; their angles seeming to cut into the brunette’s heart every time she breathed in the smell of grass and slowly rotting leaves that pooled around the tall trees that flanked both sides of the graveyard. A part of her knew that such details; the wind whistling between the branches, the earthy smell, would be what he would had wanted to have but a part of her hurt and remembered the burials she had witnesses as a queen, the ones that had seemed like feasts and parties she had never truly cared for. With one exception.

The thought alone made her grimace before sighing deeply, her hands raising only to graze the edge of the stone before she let her hand fall, her bare fingers touching the cold, wet surface of the “R”, it’s lines feeling as knives on the brunette’s heart.

“I’m sorry.” She whispered to the stone, her hand finally retreating, her fingers slightly muddled and damp as she curled them once again, the feeling on the palm of her hand enough to make her tremble for a second as she stared at what had been left behind of the man with the lion tattoo.

Destiny, she reflected with a sour grin, was something she had never been good at. She had despised the very notion of a prewritten story ever since her mother had whispered to her her own desires and dreams of a better life, a life that would never compare with reality no matter how much both Regina or her father tried. Destiny had been what her mother had wanted to read for her in every tea cup and swallow’s flight. Destiny had been what had made her be stuck in a story without an ending, in a story without a path for redemption.

And yet, when Tinker had told her about Robin a part of her had relaxed. Love, she had reasoned, lips tainted red and hands clasping a cup of coffee that she would never finish, was supposed to be calming, to give you strength and peace. Love wasn’t supposed to be a turmoil, a hurricane, a fire that grew impossibly deep within yourself only to coil around your stomach and heart whenever…

Emma.

She had embraced Robin’s truth and option with all she had, not once looking back. Now, however, Robin was gone and with him the truth she had wanted to accept.

“I miss you.” She whispered, her voice hoarse, her throat feeling broken and filled with shards of glass. “And I can’t have that.”

That last admission had been one she had realized back at night after too many glasses of cider and too many close calls to a blonde she knew that would be sleeping between two arms that would never be hers.

But love was supposed to be tender and soft, the one she had had with Daniel, the one that was easy and bland and for that she had realized that the loss of Robin, it’s death, was killing her. She needed to forget, she had reasoned with her tongue licking away every drop of liquid, her head reeling as she nodded slowly at nothingness. By forgetting she would forget what had been to be in love, to have that kind of possibility, plucked out of her as soon as it had started.

That has been the reason why she had barreled inside Rumple’s pawn shop with dark eyes and lips curled in pain as she had made her request to the smirking man. A potion, she had asked, a charm, an enchantment. Anything and everything that could help her forget. That would make her unable to feel the loss and terror of what she felt whenever she stared at Emma, whenever she felt far too close of the blonde.

Rumplestiskin had handled her a potion that had felt heavy between her fingers accompanied by some cryptic words she had not exactly wanted to think about, or even listen to them. Now, in front of Robin’s grave the weight of the bottle felt much, much worse and for a moment she stood there, wind playing with her locks, hands closed and eyes rimmed with red.

“I need to keep walking.” She whispered to the tomb and she closed her eyes, feeling the caress of the wind and the smells it brought with her.

Because love was fragile, always fragile, always on the verge of breaking, on the verge of being lost.

Uncorking the bottle, she looked at it; magic dancing inside in tiny sparks she almost didn’t saw. The potion, however, wasn’t liquid enough for her to drink and so she let it fall into her throat, her tongue still as she swallowed and gulped, tears falling down her eyes.

The last thing she saw was an impossible set of green eyes, flecked in gold and blue, the blue of a royal, the gold of a hero.

* * *

 

Emma jumped out of the chair she had been resting at, a hand quickly checking her chest in which her heart seemed to be about to break in two, a heavy pressure pulsing inside of her lungs, choking her from the inside as her vision blurred ever so slightly.

Glancing around her and grabbing her keys she swallowed a new wave of nausea that overtook her, quickly pulling out her phone from one of her back pockets as she called blindly at the first number she could remember. Regina’s voicemail was what answered her and for a second she stopped before, without even realizing it, walked out the station, a single goal inside her mind.

Regina.

* * *

 

When Regina opened her eyes the first thing she saw was a set of green worried eyes and the feeling of very warm fingers threading over her cheeks, her name falling out of the stranger’s lips as she tried to recognize her surroundings. For a second the blonde woman looking at her seemed revealed as she sat up but as her warm fingers disappeared so did the look.

“Regina?” She asked and the brunette tilted her head towards her, forgetting for a moment to try to remember what had happened to her. The way her name rang on the blonde’s voice seemed familiar to her, almost the echo of a dream, but the feeling was over far too soon and for it she looked at her blankly, not sure if she was either friend or foe.

“Regina, are you okay?” The stranger asked, gentler this time, a hand almost touching Regina’s shoulder, something the brunette found herself suddenly wishful for.

“Who are you?” The question came out of her harsher than what she would have wanted but her confusion only grew when the blonde flinched visibly at the question, her green eyes scanning the floor at her feet, seeming suddenly frenzied by it. Regina followed her gaze realizing in a second that the floor she had been resting on, damp and cold, was the one of Storybrooke’s graveyard.

Her gaze, however, didn’t halt there and so she found herself looking at the tombstone of a name she recognized instantly, the act alone bringing a sour taste to the back of her mouth. As if something wasn’t right.

Because love was supposed to be bland.

“Robin…” She whispered, with him the memories she had harbored of both her and him returning to her mind alongside with her loss. The pain felt dull somehow though and as the blonde half-crouched in front of her looked towards the tombstone Regina found herself turning her head towards the blonde herself, her mind blank as she stared at a woman she found herself unable to know who she was.

“How is that you have managed to cross the town line?” She asked in a whisper, brows furrowed. She could already feel the very first touches of worry within her alongside with panic and anger. Her magic crackled around her fingers, ready to attack, only for the blonde to turn sharply against her, pupils widening at the sight of the sparks that now jumped between Regina’s fingers incessantly.

“Regina, is me, Emma.”

“I don’t know who you are.” Regina replied through gritted teeth, her brain pounding with worry. The blonde rose and hold both of her hands up in the air, her eyes still scanning the floor as if something within there could actually impress Regina enough to drop her own hands.

“I’m Emma! Emma Swan! We have a kid together!”

The last sentence struck the brunette’s core but she did her best to appear that it hadn’t, her voice, however, remained silent as she watched Emma kneel in front of her, her right hand holding what appeared to be an empty potion flask.

“What is this?” The blonde asked, her voice deeper and laced with something the brunette realized it was pure worry.

Blinking, Regina licked her lips, not entirely sure how much she could actually trust the blonde. A part of her, realized, wanted to, the other, however, didn’t.

“Regina.” The blonde repeated, taking a step closer to her, feeling uncomfortably closer than what Regina would have felt anyone but Henry come near her. “What is this?”

The former queen, however, didn’t answer, her hands raising again, mist coming out of her as a fireball blinked into live between her fingers.

“Don’t move.” She said as Emma kept staring at her, her right hand gripping the bottle as she did so.

In retrospective that was Regina’s downfall; as focused as she had been with the blonde’s obvious show of strength she hadn’t cared to check for any kind of magical power. The power, however, became apparent the second a flash of dirty white covered the blonde’s green irises.

But it was far too late and in a blink of an eye the two of them were gone.

* * *

 

“So she drank the potion.” Emma said, staring back at Regina who had been pacing ever since the blonde and herself had gathered Snow, David and Gold into the former’s shop. The brunette had been momentarily worried about Henry’s whereabouts until Snow had softly pointed at her that it was still a school day, the realization of it making her blush. Neither Snow or David seemed worried about Emma’s presence and for that she had remained in a corner of the shop, refusing to acknowledge them any further as Emma started an explanation that seemed to be completely farfetched for the brunette herself.

Through the middle of it Gold had also started to speak -his voice high-pitched like only the imp he had once been had have and for a second Regina had shuddered, the motion being sensed by the blonde alone who tried to come closer to her. Something Regina moved away from, not wanting to risk being upper handed again by the stranger for a second hand.

“I gave it to her, dearie.” Gold replied, a smirk curving his lips. “She didn’t drink it in front of me. Although we can say that she did considering the obvious.”

“And what’s the obvious?” She asked at the very same time Emma did. The two of them stared to each other for a second before Gold’s voice made the two of them stare back at him, Snow and David muttering softly near her as she did.

“I gave her a potion your parents already know quite well. A potion that grants what Regina here desperately wanted; to forget. It did its job.”

“But why she would want to forget about me? She seems to remember everyone else!” The blonde pressed and Regina fought the rage the question in itself brought within her, her mind still reeling with Robin and its loss. A loss she would gladly want to forget…

The idea struck her just as the same time Snow’s eyes widened, her mouth opening in an almost comical “o”

“The love potion.” The other brunette in the room whispered from David’s side, the man’s eyes widening as well as he realized what his wife was talking about. Emma, however, didn’t seem impressed by the answer and looked at Gold with her hands up on waist.

“Love potion?”

“It’s a rather unorthodox way to name the potion your mother drank far back at the enchanted forest, dearie.” Gold replied, hands clasped in front of him, a rather predatory smirk curling his lips. “It’s designed to erase all memories of the true love one of the one who drinks it.”

“She… I needed to stop her from killing The Queen.” David chimed as he shuddered. Snow’s hand quickly caressing his own. The movement alone made Regina grimace but the information the man provided was enough for her to worry. “She almost looked unrecognizable.”

“The loss of the memories of our love ones are never a free experience.” Gold replied while nodding at Emma, the blonde seeming to be completely still. If it hadn’t been for the rise and fall of the blonde’s chest Regina would have said that the woman was, in fact, dead. Gold’s talk, however, seemed completely impossible for her to understand, the very same notion she could be in love with the woman -Emma, her name was Emma- ridiculous to her. “In your mother’s case it transformed her.”

“Will happen the same for her?” Snow asked, seeming completely focused now on Gold. The question itself made Regina huff, the very notion of who she had turned to be at risk of being erased because she had apparently forgot one single person something as ludicrous as the previous idea.

“Regina’s psique is different than yours, I can’t really promise what will happen to her. Although there exists another option of course.”

All eyes settled on both Emma and Regina, the former raising a brow as the first finally seemed to wake up from whatever reverie she had been on.

“Guys…”

“A true love kiss… that’s what you need.” Snow said, seemingly unware that the woman she had been steadying being called her daughter by Gold was close to faint on the spot. The sight itself of Snow’s face and Emma’s pale one was enough for Regina to fight back the urge to smirk but the notion of what her former enemy was even trying to tackle made her shudder. It had been years since she had even entertained herself with the notion of having something close to a True Love. Even Robin had been a soulmate to her, and she to him.

“You are really going to believe that a woman I barely know is my true love?” Regina finally settled on asking, rolling her eyes at the question itself as she realized who she was talking to. “Of course you would.”

“You’ve known Emma more than you think.” David answered calmly, looking at Regina as the brunette stared back at him. David had always been the one she had found herself not too invested to hate and when the three of them had started to evolve from enemies to something Regina was still reluctant to consider “family” even though Henry always insisted on it, the man had remained as her favorite from the Charming duo.

Still, she thought while turning to look at Emma’s profile, the memory of how worried the blonde had seemed to be less than an hour ago still fresh on inner’s eyes, the notion that Emma could be anything but a stranger was absolutely stupid. She knew everyone who lived in Storybrooke, she had finally gotten to show them how she wasn’t the evil queen everyone remembered her for and after Neverland Henry and herself had reinforced their relationship with one another. The blonde was certainly not in the picture.

Unless…

Emma raked her right hand through her locks, the news Rumple had down on her about Regina’s feelings for her still a hard one to digest. Ever since she had jumped out of the station with the feeling of panic growing and swirling inside of her, she had felt as if something was deeply wrong even though she didn’t know to pinpoint why. However, the idea of Regina feeling something close to love to her… was unfathomable.

“You must be wrong.” She whispered to Rumple, her voice, even if small and soft, effectively silencing Snow’s and David’s musings. “She can’t…”

“I’m never wrong.” Gold replied, his voice tinted with a dark glee that made the blonde flinch. “Not in these matters.”

“Sweetheart…” Snow started and Emma turned towards her, a look of pure terror building behind her pupils.

“No, you don’t understand.” She replied before turning to look at Regina. The former monarch was staring at her now, eyes slightly narrowed. “You can’t love me.”

“I’m sure you will be glad to hear that I feel the same then, dear.” The brunette replied succinctly before walking past the blonde, her body almost seeming to tower Rumplestiskin’s. “The imp is certainly playing a game I still don’t see. Seeking for your help to destroy me is a rather preposterous idea though. Must be the age…”

“It’s been months since I tried to do anything harmful to you, Regina.” The man said calmly while moving forward as well. “What you are feeling…”

“I don’t need love to be grounded.” Regina interrupted him through gritted teeth. She was, had been, alone and lost without Daniel. Robin’s loss hurt her and a part of her sought for oblivion but she would have never chosen to forget a love, wouldn’t she?

“But love is still powerful.” Rumplestiskin replied before returning back to his normal spot behind the shop’s counter. “You asked for a potion and I gave it to you, the result, as you see, is not perhaps the one you would have wanted but with magic it never is.”

“Then all they need to do in order to restore Regina’s memories is for them to kiss each other, right?” David repeated, not seeming to care about anything else, eliciting a series of protests from both Emma and Regina as well as some several nods from his wife.

“As I was trying to say earlier  it’s a possible solution, yes.” The dark one replied while shrugging. “But neither of them seem really keen on doing something like that.”

Emma glanced at Regina and the former queen growled, not wanting to take any chances.

A part of her, the one that remembered her time as an apprentice, knew that what the man was telling was possible; a potion that erased any kind of memory from your true love was complicated to create but possible. However, the notion of her needing to be waken up from anything by a true love kiss, something so close to the destiny she had tried to fight against, made her nauseous.

Emma didn’t seem to be taking the idea much better and for a moment the brunette almost wanted to feel hurt at the blonde’s behavior before she steeled herself, her features hardening as she looked straightly at the green-eyed woman, the memory of how those eyes had changed from warm to worry still embedded on her mind.

“Mom, dad…” The blonde started, turning to look at her supposed parents with a look of utter loss. “How…?”

“We have eyes.” Snow interrupted with a shrug. “You two care deeply of each other. As many soulmates and destinies you encounter neither of you had ever wanted to settle into the conventional or in the prewritten.”

“But Hook…”

And the name brought with it memories Regina found heself wanting to ignore alongside with a deep sense of loss. Because love she found herself thinking, was supposed to be something written and chosen, was supposed…

A glimpse of green eyes looking at her through Granny’s packed dinner made her gasp.

“Afraid your lies will crumble?” She called out, almost ttrembling, shuddering, under the pressure of the feeling those green eyes of her mind looked straightly at her from way too far. The blonde looked at her with what seemed to be red-rimmed eyes and the brunette licked her lips for a moment, suddenly nervous.

“This wasn’t supposed to be like this.” Emma replied with a sigh, her eyes settled now on her fingers, on the hem of her shirt where they fiddled with it.

The thing was that Regina never did things how they were supposed to be. And she had a feeling that the blonde wasn’t keen on rules as well.

“Then kiss me and show me that they are telling the truth dear. Or just abandon the charade.”

“I’m not lying.” The blonde replied, voice rougher, face hardened.

“Then prove it to me.”

The kiss wasn’t careful or tender but it wasn’t full of rage or fear. It felt raw and quick, a fire suddenly lighting every part of Regina’s brain as something close to an electrical storm thundered just below her closed eyelids.

Because love was supposed to be fiery and perhaps not as easy or as perfect as it was supposed to be. Because love, Regina’s love, her love, wasn’t supposed to be written or pre-decided, just chosen, just accepted as freely as it had been given.

And perhaps she had cared for Robin, she had loved Daniel. But she wasn’t the girl Daniel had known anymore and neither was the woman Robin would have said he saw. And as imperfect as she was so was Emma.

Emma who was crying between her arms as magical wave after magical wave surrounded the two of them. Who looked beautiful as she caressed her cheek before kissing her again, not caring in the slightest of who was looking at the two of them or in the many things they would need to adjust once the kiss was finished.

Emma, who had never wanted destiny to decide for her, Emma who had fought against titles just as much as she had done.

Emma who was fire and water just the same without even trying to fit in neither of them. Emma who cared and gave as much as Regina found herself wanted to give.

Just Emma.


End file.
